My heart hurt a little today.
When I feel that I tend to miss home. But things are getting more comfortable. I know what to expect now. I am no longer shocked at taxi's that don't look like they should run, or constant eyes on us just from walking around. I know how to get from place to place. The price for a sweat rag, or handkerchief. I know where to get citrus fonta and expect to feel like i gained ten pounds every time i eat. I dont mind my dirty body or hair that curls with the humidity. I expect to gain weight and dont mind what people think of me in a natural state. I know to say hello everywhere and I know my way around the orphanage. I know on fridays in the streets I will hear drums and music and ambulence, because this is when they have their funerals. I like it here. Ghana is beautiful in so many ways.
Today the orphanage work was hard. Most of the kids did not finish registering yesterday so vicky and I were left with 10 todlers. And the orphanage. To ourselves. For the most part we grueled. It was lots of screaming, kids who couldnt speak english, and more screaming. Walking birth control anyone? Yet, in all realness, I want to take them home with me. I will genuinly miss them. I think about them when i am not with them. A few of my favorites appear in my dreams. There is one boy that lives inside my mind. Today he was crying, has many things wrong with him, has been untreated, and i long to just rescue him. Every bit of estrogen and mom instinct i was built with cried out of me. I all the sudden felt so angry that western hospitals were no where near. how Unfair it is that he doesnt have the chance at life i had. It's not fair he is four years old and suffering. Suffering something probably curable but wont be. I have so much to say. Its hard to blog it. At least for now. Mostly i have an undying love for them. A constant craving to help the situation. A need to see it build itself better. A knowledge that there is hope for it, this i cling to so deeply. When I get home please do not get tired of my stories from this place. I know I am seeing it all for a reason. I know people need to know about Ghana, how wonderful it is, how much the orphans could use help. And so on.
I am learning so much about life here. But even more about myself. Having vicky to talk to is a blessing from whatever exsists or doesnt. I talk to her about my thoughts on God, love, life, family, Africa, the future, and even poop. :)
Meloo.
I love you all.
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Great, this stupid computer deleted everything I had written to say. Anyway, I just had a bit of time to comb over some of the stuff you've written about and I wanted to let you know that I was very happy for you. Your smiles shine through in nearly every sentence and although you were a bit sad on the 12th by the end of the blog you can tell how genuinely happy you are to be doing what you're doing. It made me smile. You can tell that you're scrapin' every bit of the experience out and you'll treasure each one of these days for the rest of your life. I hope you're having a wonderful day already by the time you get this, but with the entries below I can already tell you probably will. P.S. Great writing, Rebecca.
ReplyDeleteYou are truely amazing bekka :D
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